When we live wasting energy remembering negative events in our lives, it is much more difficult to achieve our dreams and live fully, in this lies the importance of forgiving oneself and others.
These negative feelings keep you trapped in a negative state of mind, often unconsciously, that prevents you from moving forward and prospering.
In this article we provide you with interesting information on the subject, which can make a big difference in your life. Don’t stop reading it.
Currently there is a huge amount of material and information about forgiveness, but despite this, many do not understand why they need to forgive and forgive, but above all forgive themselves.
At first glance, it seems that forgiveness is relevant only to other people, and in general there is nothing to forgive yourself for, except for serious situations, which for some reason involve guilt.
It is important that we try to discover how to forgive ourselves and why we need to do this, because it will be a momentous change in our lives.
Aversion is defined as the rejection, disgust or contempt for something. When we talk about self-hatred, we refer to self-hatred.
Throughout life, we meet different people who somehow influence us with their actions and attitudes.
The most common cause is usually treatment from childhood. When we perceive ourselves through the attitude of the parents, a series of claims about ourselves accumulate.
If the parents criticized and compared the child with other children, then there are already negative attitudes in him.
As a result, in adulthood, we feel that we are worse than others, not good enough, and therefore do not deserve to be happy.
We limit ourselves to made-up frames and constantly listen to the inner critic that we must constantly fight, forbidding us to be ourselves, adjusting to those around us.
We blame ourselves for mistakes, do not accept our shortcomings, and gradually cultivate a sense of guilt that requires a lot of energy.
Over time, we feel insulted by others, rightly or wrongly, whom we generally misjudge, in our opinion, for their actions toward us.
We do not accept other people’s shortcomings in the same way as our own, accumulating huge negative charges about it.
All this is installed in our body in the form of emotional blocks and, having no way out, causes a feeling of depression and contributes to the development of diseases.
Why is it necessary to forgive?
Learning to forgive yourself is crucial to becoming a healthy and happy person.
This is the only way to love yourself with unconditional love, to accept ourselves as we are, with all the defects and virtues, with our characteristics.
By forgiving, we automatically free ourselves from all negative emotions in relation to ourselves, we open new paths and opt for other resources that make our lives easier and happier.
What gives us the much-needed forgiveness? Well, it’s very simple:
– Accept the situations you live in, leaving aside the unfulfilled expectations, which will open up other possibilities whose energy is blocked by the feeling of guilt.
The recommendation is to get rid of all past expectations and stop blaming yourself for everything that has not come true in life.
– Let go of your unfulfilled dreams and focus on what is now available to you.
– Learn to accept your weaknesses and not judge yourself harshly for them, it is necessary to stop reproaching yourself.
– Be tolerant with other people, by accepting them for what they are you will not live nervous, worried or offended by their behavior. Conflicts will stop, life will become much easier.
When you have managed to forgive yourself for mistakes, you will learn to perceive them as lessons on the path of your spiritual growth, stop constantly criticizing yourself for your weaknesses, rather help yourself to overcome them.
Over time, you will learn to be grateful for all the tests that helped you become yourself, because we are the result of our experiences.
Forgiving yourself implies that you can accept and love yourself without any conditions. Discover that you have the opportunity to be happy, to grow and fulfill yourself, to meet people who will also love you.
After all, harmonious relationships with others begin with self-love. As a general rule, relationships with others reflect our attitude towards ourselves.
This is only a small part of how your life will improve after forgiveness, not counting the contribution to your health.
Among other things, the removal of emotional blocks prevents the development of dangerous diseases, including cancer.
Therefore, the sooner you engage in forgiveness, the sooner you will free yourself from the burden of accumulated negativity and discover a lot of energy in yourself.
How to forgive yourself?
There are many ways to forgive yourself. For example, change your thinking about yourself.
To do this, understand that you are unique and that there is no other person on Earth like you, your flaws are an integral part of your personality, along with your virtues.
The mistakes you make help you learn certain life lessons, which you are destined to go through.
If you did something wrong in the past, then you just didn’t know what could be different and acted on your ideas at the time.
This situation will ultimately lead you to growth, showing you the possible right path. Therefore, he can forgive himself for the past and get rid of guilt.
Unfortunately, however, this method is not suitable for everyone, as not all people can accept these arguments.
To resolve emotional blocks, you can contact a psychologist, professional help is important, the use of certain therapies and psychotherapeutic techniques give good results for forgiveness.
Also, there are many forgiveness techniques for self-application, including forgiveness meditations, prayers, and some special exercises.
All methods have their advantages and of course their disadvantages. People are often unwilling to spend a lot of time doing forgiveness exercises or therapies without seeing quick and specific results.
However, remember that everything has its rhythm, so not everything can be fast and effective, since it depends on the technique and each personality.
We suggest that you remember these tips that can help to solve a large part of your situation:
1. Acknowledge and accept that imperfect or dark side of your personality
When we mention that you must accept your dark side, we are referring to that part of your personality that is difficult for you to recognize because you do not like it.
For example: you don’t like the way you look, you don’t want to admit that you have a hard time managing your anger, you have an unhealthy lifestyle, you lead a life that hides your true personality, or you hate your job.
Accepting that imperfect side means accepting yourself as a whole, with all the advantages, disadvantages and ambiguous characteristics.
His imperfection does not diminish his human dignity, it simply makes him a unique and different person, and he must love himself with all his characteristics.
2. Be honest with yourself
When you accept your “imperfect” side, you simply become honest with yourself.
This allows him to enjoy both his defects and his virtues, to enjoy the humanity that makes him a unique, beautiful and special person.
Being honest with yourself means rejoicing in your good deeds, those that make the world a little better.
But it’s also important to recognize that sometimes you can’t live up to expectations—yours and others’.
Being honest with oneself is listening to emotions and sensations in the body, both pleasant and unpleasant.
3. Learn from mistakes
Keep in mind that failure can be an opportunity for growth and development, it can represent a new opportunity.
When evaluating a mistake think about what you could do differently, think about what has happened to you, see everything as a new experience, new tools that can be useful in the future.
4. He apologizes to those he has hurt
It is impossible to live a life without hurting someone, however, when it takes a sincere and honest apology.
But remember to apologize only for what is really your fault and not for pleasing someone. It may be that a person is not satisfied with something, but this does not mean that you are responsible for such a situation.
5. Remember your good deeds
Human beings cannot be divided into good or bad, because you are a complete person, a whole world of emotions, sensations, thoughts and spiritual experiences.
Even when mistakes have been made and we are aware of our less pleasant side, it is important to always remember all the best you have done for others and for the world in general.
Notice your good deeds and rejoice with the energy of goodness. You should not consider that his works are big or small, they are something insignificant.
Every little thing makes the world a little better, because: “Sometimes we feel that what we do is just a drop in the sea, but the sea would be less if that drop were missing” . Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
6. Discover what rituals or techniques help you feel better about yourself and forgive yourself
Many people who belong to a religion find in it a certain ritual that helps them feel better about themselves.
For example in Christianity, there are the sacraments, which help believers recognize their imperfection, while reminding them that they are still loved.
There are many people who believe that rituals help them reconcile with their nature and make sense of the successes and failures of life.
However, to clarify, if you do not belong to any religion, this does not mean that you do not identify with something that allows you to reconcile with yourself, encourage yourself and forgive yourself.
Rituals don’t have to be complicated, simple things like a daily family dinner, where everyone talks and tells each other how their day went; share walks with friends and relatives, etc.
Many people, feeling part of something bigger, manage to reconcile with themselves, reflecting their human nature with all its splendor and imperfection.
7. Be their friend
There are some tools that allow you to help you consciously accept your reality, at the level of the body, heart and mind.
Try to find one that suits you, a method that can help you learn forgiveness and realize your potential weaknesses.
More importantly, a technique that will help you get to know yourself better and get out of your comfort zone.
Some specialists recommend the enneagram method, a kind of personality map, which allows knowing oneself, classifying the personality into nine enneatypes (personality types).
8. Take care of your body
It is very important that you value, love and care for your body. Eat right and exercise.
Start by qualifying your lifestyle by answering these simple questions:
- Do you eat healthy food?
- Do you overeat?
- Are you physically active?
- Do you care about your mind? Do you give him a chance to rest?
- Have you tried to meditate?
There is a wide variety of meditation styles and techniques, for example the so-called contemplative prayer, because it does not require completely freeing the mind and those with restless minds opt for it because it is easier for them to achieve inner peace.
Another similar technique is mindful meditation, awareness teaches you to focus on what is happening in the inner world.
9. Remember that you are part of something bigger
If you prefer to feel in community, then simply go to a religious community: a church, temple, mosque, synagogue, etc.
The most important thing is that if the community helps you not to feel alone in your experiences, then go to a place that you like.
If you are not religious, any action that brings you closer to others will help you, for example sharing the simple joys of life with loved ones, helping those most in need, etc.
Exercises to learn to forgive
You already know how important it is to forgive yourself in order to be happy, move forward and progress. However, even knowing the benefits that this brings, many people find it difficult to forgive themselves and forgive.
But it’s all a matter of deciding and practicing forgiveness, the sooner the better, for this reason we suggest some exercises that can make this task easier:
1-Write a list of the things I want to forgive myself and the feelings I want to release, at least ten and work on one the first day.
The next day add the second on the list, so you would work on two and so on, until you complete the list.
Remember to always think about how forgiving a certain situation will benefit me and how forgiving myself for something in particular will benefit others. That will serve as motivation.
2-Make affirmations that help you clear your mind of negative thoughts and educate your brain to think differently, positively, in order to live and act positively.
Some examples of affirmations to forgive oneself:
- “I give myself the gift of freeing myself from the past, I joyfully enter the now.”
- “I am willing to heal myself. I am willing to forgive myself. I am willing to forgive. Everything’s fine.”
- “ I free myself from the heavy load of doubt, shame and guilt”
- “Forgiveness is a gift that I give myself. I find it easy and rewarding to forgive.”
3-Meditate, this practice is ideal to take care of the spirit and the mind, allowing you to observe life more objectively, without judging and without so much stress, which brings you closer to happiness.
Certainly there are several types of meditation, for example that where you are aware of your surroundings or something in particular, be it an object or your own breath.
There are also guided meditations, those that are carried out with the help or support of a person who knows about this practice, giving the corresponding instructions and accompanying the process.
Putting meditation into practice allows us to release negativity and pay attention to the good, focusing on love, happiness, peace, tranquility, prosperity, generosity and of course, forgiving oneself.
Compromise and avoid complaints
In the vast majority of cases, the difficulty of forgiving oneself lies in negligence and lack of purpose.
Many people simply decide not to do anything positive and get caught up in complaining. Complaining is much worse than doing nothing.
That is why you must start by establishing a firm and healthy commitment to do everything you must and is within your reach to be and feel good.
It is very true that this can take time, but it is worth it. Life is an adventure full of beautiful things waiting for you, therefore it doesn’t make sense full of regrets and regrets that you can change.
Assume responsibility for your mistakes, but don’t victimize yourself. All the people in the world go through difficult and adverse circumstances at some point, but happiness consists in overcoming them and continuing on the path.
Act right now and take the necessary steps to overcome that obstacle that separates you from your happiness and personal fulfillment. Feeling good about yourself and your surroundings is important, nothing like being at peace.