Communication in the family allows each member that makes it up to interact with each other through the exchange of all kinds of information, so that each individual develops as a person as long as there is respect, conditions and order that make communication possible. It is significant to maintain communication since this allows us to progress, mature, solve any problem and reach understanding with ourselves and our environment.
What is family communication?
We know that when you decided to investigate this topic, the first thing you asked yourself was: what is communication in the family ? And that is precisely what we will be talking about.
The action of communicating symbolizes that two or more individuals participate with each other in something that is thought, felt or done. And this is what makes it such an indispensable exercise for any relationship between: partner, mother, father, children or with society.
How to improve communication in the family paying attention to the relationship that takes place as a couple, well let’s say that not only in a place but with each member that makes up the family, grandparents, parents and children and it is something that must be constant that way, providing information, sympathy, affection and feelings and sometimes even explanations.
It is recommended that when addressing any person the words should be well guided by a smile or perhaps a pleasant gesture, this becomes very relevant especially in conversations with children, it should be done to communicate, always pleasure, satisfaction and liking each other. This helps create a fairly good climate of communication in the family.
It is known that adults are the ones who train children and the same thing happens in communication, it is mom and dad who are in charge of teaching children which are the spaces for each conversation hand in hand with mechanisms that they can use to facilitate communication. communication.
So that a harmonious coexistence is carried out from a young age, let us remember that communication is the key point for this to happen, it is in the environment of good communication in which children should develop so that when they reach adolescence a point Critical to communication in most homes the process is more than teaching and learning.
It is known that adults are the ones who train children and the same thing happens in communication, it is mom and dad who are in charge of teaching children which are the spaces for each conversation hand in hand with mechanisms that they can use to facilitate communication. communication, so that a harmonious coexistence is carried out from an early age.
Let us remember that communication is the key point for this to happen, it is in the environment of good communication in which children should develop so that when they reach adolescence, a critical point for communication in most homes is the process is more of teaching and learning.
It is through communication that socialization happens and therefore education occurs. The family should be placed in its proper place since it belongs to one of the main agents of socialization, it becomes the most important because it includes people with whom you will communicate for a large part of life.
It is because of the family that you will begin to create and form a personality that will define you and this becomes quite influential in the communication process. It is through the family that educational messages arrive and communication skills are developed.
Following the thread of indications or extra verbal signals, we must mention that there is a variety of communication that could be quite contradictory, known as double bind communication, it is widely used for pedagogical techniques and normally consists of the association of affective messages that information go hand in hand with a little hospitality.
It is also known as dysfunctional communication which means that there is a disorder in the functioning or in the function that corresponds to the conversation because a direct message is sent but it is framed in different hidden and displaced signals.
The communication that we call negative, is the one that is not clear or the one that can become a little aggressive, it is the one that involves the lack of responsibility for self-control that dominates emotions, thoughts, behaviors and desires of oneself in a negative way. The moment you begin to control these emotions is when you fall into what I was mentioning that aggressive behavior.
It is very frequent although we do not believe it and it is almost reflected very daily in families.
A very clear and simple example is: when the adolescent makes some kind of mistake, parents are normally involved in endless emotions and end up punishing impulsively without listening to the reason why it was made, without explaining why I don’t know why. attend that fault.
It is for this reason that for communication in a positive functional way it must be clear, direct, consistent, assertive and fed back so that it does not affect or harm the other individuals who are part of the family.
In family communication there may be some quite particular codes. Due to the influence between the individuals that make up the family and the attachment begins to acquire due to the emotional relationship that is urgent and which is instituted between two people, identified by mutual affection, the aspirations of maintaining closeness.
When it is known that not only the main actors of the family participate in their interactions, it becomes a little more difficult since there are other participants even if they are part of the family members.
The links of interactions in the family in most cases are repeated since it is the reflection of their formation. What do we mean by this? If communication in the family always becomes positive in the different problematic circumstances that can be experienced, it is very safe in other circumstances similar to the one already experienced, each individual in the family has a certain idea of how to act.
Communication in the family is fragile and can break if the message is not received by the other person in the case of the receiver. If the perspective of what was sent is lost, either by misrepresentation of the message, listening will fail, due to the distortion of the message with misinterpretation.
On many occasions, the lack of communication or its difficulty leads to many negative or unfavorable consequences that may not be wanted, such as: separated or divorced couples, this happens in different ways.
But the example that I will give you on this occasion is when: one of the parents decides to decline their obligations to adopt the role of siblings with the children in order to attract the attention of the other spouse and it is at that moment when you begin to see what happens quite inappropriate infractions in terms of the roles that each one has established in the exercise of the family should be aware of these situations.
Therefore, when communication begins to be so dysfunctional is that the children begin to challenge the parental authority that prevents maintaining the proper order, where there are limitations, hierarchy of respect and proceed to lose all kinds of relationships due to lack of a satisfactory communication.
Importance of communication in the family
Communication is one of the most important means that human beings have to be able to interact with their relatives and peers. Since we are born we use a language to communicate and relate to our environment. The importance of communication in the family lies in language, experts say that a baby from nine months is able to understand if her parents are happy or upset, and is also able to perceive if she has the language or not. affection from them.
For each family there is a form of communication, these can vary, there are in some that it is presented in a fluid and positive way, but there are in others that it is heavier and more negative, the latter is due to the lack of communication in the family . In one way or another, the communication learned from home is the same as the one that will be applied in society, be it educational environments such as school or any training institute, in the workplace and in the community.
Let us remember that the family represents the main nucleus for society and it is for this reason that it becomes of great importance that good communication takes place from it.
For the development of each person, the family is needed, let us remember that this is the nucleus of society in which the personalities of each individual flourish.
It is through communication that values are forged, for each of the people who are part of the family it is important to establish it since the values in the person are a fundamental part of society, it is vital that a family dialogue is always maintained , so that parents can form and transmit to their children the pillars for their development.
Well, it is no secret to anyone that in a family where there is good communication it is full of: full of attachment, love, union and hand in hand with great teaching of values and principles, that is what I dare to say that this is the best treasure you can leave to a child.
Through communication in the family, an element of protection can be built for progress in common and individually that leads to trust, to what I am or what I would like to be, issuing a judgment or assessment, so it would be good to have a communication direct, honest and respectful all this has a significant weight for any individual.
The fact of having good communication means that you know how to speak, express yourself and say things, which is much more than just expressing a language or just speaking. You keep asking why is communication important in the family ? Think of it this way, the act of communicating represents something beyond speaking, it is observing, listening and understanding, on the one hand, and expressing, saying, requesting and acting, on the other.
Elements that influence communication in the family
While it is true, it has never been easy to lead family life and communication between each member of the family makes it focus on the positive and constructive. As parents we know that it is not easy to achieve a balance to live, share and develop between each member of the family, this is done through daily contact between each individual and becomes part of an act in which the best positive attitude.
Well, the process of these qualities and skills are fully carried out when communication with love is established. This means that the true intention is to contribute the best of oneself to build happiness thanks to the attitudes that are executed from one towards the other people, including the family.
It is that love becomes the most important engine for motivation and achieving union with those who are shared: qualities and defects, happy and sad moments and positive and depressive moods. In order to ensure that intrafamily communication is directed positively, we must guarantee what is necessary to comply with it and this is done when any exchange of words is to help, repair, explain and approach.
When communication begins to lose its purpose, the message easily becomes distorted and turns into discomfort: detachment, mistreatment, unjust punishments causing a totally destructive result that will be totally counterproductive for any individual, since it can become distancing and that is when it begins to deteriorate. family relationships due to lack of communication in the family .
As in schools and companies that seek to maintain active communication with their members, the same thing should happen in the family because they should all focus on this until it is achieved as a common goal or objective.
It is important that the communication is very well defined I know if you want to set as a goal this way it will become everyone’s purpose. By this means, common agreements will be reached that must first begin with the parents and at a given moment the children and the other people who make up the family will be included.
As a personal question: does your experience describe any of the aforementioned? If this happens, it is because you have allowed communication to be sporadic and random, instead of establishing the necessary processes so that the important aspects of the life of each family member are discussed. For this it is necessary to have a clear plan to achieve it. When communicating, it is important to be aware of the following.
What to say?
It is complicated that when communicating we do not know what we are going to say or what we want to express. It is recommended that you have clarity of ideas so as not to run the risk that the receiver confuses or misinterprets the message or its content in the same way so that feelings, fears or needs invade you and you are unable to express what you really want.
How to say it?
When starting a conversation, it should be started in a polite and respectful manner and should focus on the topic based on the particular situation in which it is being presented and, of course, it should be adapted to the person to whom it is being addressed.
When to say it?
There is always a right place and time to carry out a conversation, what we should always try to control are emotions, on many occasions it is better to avoid communication if they are not in the appropriate emotional state, which allows the total receptivity of the message, it is important to wait for the right moment to achieve what we call positive and effective communication.
At the moment you are in the conversation, it is important that you put into practice the following:
listen with understanding
Let us remember that communication is based on a two-way process and for this process it is necessary to combine speaking with listening. The action of listening needs all the receptivity and disposition of the people to be able to achieve harmony with the other individual and their feelings and of course ours too.
Remember to take into account these non-verbal aspects, communication is something that goes beyond listening and speaking, it requires ease, disposition and total receptivity so that you can understand everything that the other individual transmits through looks, posture, gestures and mimics.
It is important that you are aware of the gestures that they modulate so that there is no misinterpretation in what you say and do. Fluid and continuous eye contact is important, and make sure your gestures and expressions always show attention.
This point is about checking if the reception is being fulfilled, what I mean by this, you must paraphrase what the other person tells you to know if the ideas are the correct ones that have been expressed. It is also recommended to ask clarifying questions to verify that the message you are trying to get across is being captured and interpreted correctly.
So, in order to promote communication in the most effective and satisfactory way in the family, you must:
- Respect each of the members that make up the family and with whom communication takes place.
- What is said and heard must be taken into account, considering the moment in which the communication occurs.
- Have firmness for the correct sending of the message.
- Consider the role that each one fulfills, whether it is the father, the mother, the son and the brother, for a better approach
- Avoid insistently repeating the message.
- Know how to speak and know how to listen.
- The correct congruence of verbal and non-verbal messages.
Communication roles that are negative for the family nucleus
As we already know, communication goes hand in hand with the personalities of each individual and in the family when communicating we can notice the different roles, here we will mention the most common and frequent ones that should not be adopted by anyone:
The accuser or aggressive, is the one who at the moment acts imposingly in some cases they have a style of superiority towards the other members of the family, normally these people are defined as being dictators or authoritarians, they just want to win and subdue , there are cases where they put themselves in a position where they force others to do what they want.
The placating or non-assertive; one who always tries to please others, even without caring about their rights, either out of necessity or some feeling, this type of role is very common in people who do not know what they need, with a lack of self-esteem and self-love. Of course, they usually suffer from abuse since neither they nor the others respect them. They are people who run away from conflicts, avoid them or try to pacify them.
Calculating people usually have a somewhat intellectual trait in their interpersonal relationships, they are usually handled with caution or with a defense mechanism that leads them to hide their emotions, they are usually quite distrustful. It shows where reasoning is used to block the confrontation with stressful conflicts, they are often in charge of analyzing everything in an indifferent and distant way.
Manipulative people are usually destructive, this means that they often do not deal with situations directly. They want their world view to be the only one accepted and when this does not happen, different strategies are created to get out of the situation that they consider unpleasant at the time. .
The non-assertive leveler is the one who is in charge of defending only their rights by going over others, they often express their feelings, thoughts and of course their needs in a quite direct and honest way, it can be said that their message is natural and convenient.
Emilly Stefan The Fear lab was an American author of young adult novels, most known for her fantasy series, Age of the Seventh Sun.